Final Reflections

Hi everyone, and congratulations for making it to week ten!  Tomorrow is my very last day of school and I’m luxuriating in the feeling of accomplishment and calm. 

Looking back over how I assessed my psychological, physical and spiritual wellbeing, I am struck by how difficult it is to quantify these things, and how my estimation of my relative wellness varies from day to day. Nevertheless, I would stand by rating my physical wellbeing at 7 out of 10, despite being far from peak fitness. I justify my rating based on the gratitude I feel for being able bodied, free of disease, and relatively young. I still rate myself a 7, since I have not yet had time to significantly change my fitness level, although I have been working out daily since I finished my final projects and finally contemplated having some time for myself – yippee! One positive change I have noticed right away – as my stress level has dropped, I’ve found I am no longer over eating and have barely thought about food for days. If this continues, as I believe it will, since my slight overeating (albeit of healthy food) was a response to stress, and I finally have gotten off the hamster wheel and feel so calm and happy! My fitness level should increase rapidly if I continue my present activity level. 

Since my fitness goal was to work out 4-5 times a week, although it’s early days, I have met that goal so far and had a blast doing it. I love to work out, and I didn’t feel right not working out often enough. Now I’ve slowed down, I feel my thoughts become clearer, and a state of mindfulness returning. A mindful way of being feels like my natural state now, and the agitated state of mind I experience when overloaded with stress feels like a disruption to that state.  I’ve definitely made a start in implementing the activities I chose, but I haven’t meditated in a few days, and will do so tonight and tomorrow morning. I want to try to meditate, even if only for a short while, twice a day. 

Psychologically, I rated myself a 9, and while I think I am pretty well adjusted and happy, on my crankiest days while studying 9 might have been a stretch! On reflection, I think such a high number doesn’t give me enough room to grow, and I certainly feel I have room to grow. I feel a huge outpouring of gratitude for my experience and feel calm, happy, and ready for the next phase of my life, with renewed energy, optimism and enthusiasm. I think that means I’m in good shape, mentally, although I have an Achilles’ heel when it comes to my work. I can’t claim to have completely turned around my negative feelings about my job (one of my psychological goals) since it’s far from the creative field I want to be in. But I definitely noticed a slightly heavy feeling I was aware of at work lifting off me now my studies are drawing to a close. I found it very difficult to handle the stress of my job with the stress of school. Now I am no longer tired and overcommitted, I have the energy reserves and upbeat spirit that allow me to shrug off my job with a light heart. While I am not going to fall in love with corporate sales any time soon, I can accept it with gratitude as the job I need right now, and which affords me the luxury of going to school, and now, pursuing my professional dream of being a writer. Meditation will help me continue to accept this with gratitude, instead of inwardly fighting it with resentment – which is not a healthy or productive frame of mind. I have also joined a yoga studio, and will be taking a class this weekend, to increase my social connectedness, to increase further my psychological wellbeing. Perhaps a 7 is more realistic, and, in a very positive sense, this creates more room for growth.

Spiritually, I wanted to grow throughout this course, and I feel I have. I previously rated myself a 7, because although I feel very spiritual, learning about integral human flourishing means I now have some understanding that we can go so much farther than we know, so I am not complacent but rather filled with optimism about my capacity for continued growth. My twice-daily meditation should help this growth, as will my intention to take a Reiki course and start volunteering at hospice again. Although I have not yet fully implemented these steps, I feel I’ve grown over the duration of this course, partly through gaining a better understanding of the importance of intentionality. I feel I have a better understanding of the need for developing disciplined practices, and taking action to support my intention. 

I’m not expecting dramatic change overnight, although my physical fitness level is the goal that will be quickest and easiest to achieve. My psychological journey is to rise above feeling stressed out by external events and learn to cultivate a calm abiding state of consciousness, as recommended by Dacher (2006). My spiritual journey will be a lifelong one; I don’t expect to become enlightened without years of practice (if ever) but I do expect to be happy, grateful, peaceful and loving. I feel I’ve begun some positive steps towards all three as a result of this course. 

I wish everyone I’ve encountered on this course much happiness!

Deb

Reference:

Dacher, E. (2006). Integral health: The path to human flourishing.
                Laguna Beach, CA: Basic Health Publications, Inc.