Monday, July 23, 2012

Final Reflections


Hi everyone, and congratulations for making it to week ten!  Tomorrow is my very last day of school and I’m luxuriating in the feeling of accomplishment and calm. 

Looking back over how I assessed my psychological, physical and spiritual wellbeing, I am struck by how difficult it is to quantify these things, and how my estimation of my relative wellness varies from day to day. Nevertheless, I would stand by rating my physical wellbeing at 7 out of 10, despite being far from peak fitness. I justify my rating based on the gratitude I feel for being able bodied, free of disease, and relatively young. I still rate myself a 7, since I have not yet had time to significantly change my fitness level, although I have been working out daily since I finished my final projects and finally contemplated having some time for myself – yippee! One positive change I have noticed right away – as my stress level has dropped, I’ve found I am no longer over eating and have barely thought about food for days. If this continues, as I believe it will, since my slight overeating (albeit of healthy food) was a response to stress, and I finally have gotten off the hamster wheel and feel so calm and happy! My fitness level should increase rapidly if I continue my present activity level. 

Since my fitness goal was to work out 4-5 times a week, although it’s early days, I have met that goal so far and had a blast doing it. I love to work out, and I didn’t feel right not working out often enough. Now I’ve slowed down, I feel my thoughts become clearer, and a state of mindfulness returning. A mindful way of being feels like my natural state now, and the agitated state of mind I experience when overloaded with stress feels like a disruption to that state.  I’ve definitely made a start in implementing the activities I chose, but I haven’t meditated in a few days, and will do so tonight and tomorrow morning. I want to try to meditate, even if only for a short while, twice a day. 

Psychologically, I rated myself a 9, and while I think I am pretty well adjusted and happy, on my crankiest days while studying 9 might have been a stretch! On reflection, I think such a high number doesn’t give me enough room to grow, and I certainly feel I have room to grow. I feel a huge outpouring of gratitude for my experience and feel calm, happy, and ready for the next phase of my life, with renewed energy, optimism and enthusiasm. I think that means I’m in good shape, mentally, although I have an Achilles’ heel when it comes to my work. I can’t claim to have completely turned around my negative feelings about my job (one of my psychological goals) since it’s far from the creative field I want to be in. But I definitely noticed a slightly heavy feeling I was aware of at work lifting off me now my studies are drawing to a close. I found it very difficult to handle the stress of my job with the stress of school. Now I am no longer tired and overcommitted, I have the energy reserves and upbeat spirit that allow me to shrug off my job with a light heart. While I am not going to fall in love with corporate sales any time soon, I can accept it with gratitude as the job I need right now, and which affords me the luxury of going to school, and now, pursuing my professional dream of being a writer. Meditation will help me continue to accept this with gratitude, instead of inwardly fighting it with resentment – which is not a healthy or productive frame of mind. I have also joined a yoga studio, and will be taking a class this weekend, to increase my social connectedness, to increase further my psychological wellbeing. Perhaps a 7 is more realistic, and, in a very positive sense, this creates more room for growth.

Spiritually, I wanted to grow throughout this course, and I feel I have. I previously rated myself a 7, because although I feel very spiritual, learning about integral human flourishing means I now have some understanding that we can go so much farther than we know, so I am not complacent but rather filled with optimism about my capacity for continued growth. My twice-daily meditation should help this growth, as will my intention to take a Reiki course and start volunteering at hospice again. Although I have not yet fully implemented these steps, I feel I’ve grown over the duration of this course, partly through gaining a better understanding of the importance of intentionality. I feel I have a better understanding of the need for developing disciplined practices, and taking action to support my intention. 

I’m not expecting dramatic change overnight, although my physical fitness level is the goal that will be quickest and easiest to achieve. My psychological journey is to rise above feeling stressed out by external events and learn to cultivate a calm abiding state of consciousness, as recommended by Dacher (2006). My spiritual journey will be a lifelong one; I don’t expect to become enlightened without years of practice (if ever) but I do expect to be happy, grateful, peaceful and loving. I feel I’ve begun some positive steps towards all three as a result of this course. 

I wish everyone I’ve encountered on this course much happiness!

Deb

Reference:
Dacher, E. (2006). Integral health: The path to human flourishing.
                Laguna Beach, CA: Basic Health Publications, Inc.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Action Plan or Guide to Being


HW420-01 Unit 9 Project
  1. Introduction:

It is important for health and wellness professionals to develop psychologically, spiritually and physically because a healer cannot heal others or guide them to optimal wellness if he or she does not understand and practice an integrally healthy life. Since integral health means so much more than an absence of sickness, but instead implies a deep, optimal wellness of the whole person, mind, body and spirit, a health and wellness professional cannot hope to lead others to this state without leading by example.
As someone who took this class for personal growth rather than any professional purpose, I believe anyone who wishes to help others achieve optimal personal growth and health must first begin by achieving it him or herself.
In order to achieve the goals I have for myself, I need to develop in several areas. First, addressing the mind part of mind-body-spirit, I need to work on strengthening my social ties. Although I have a small close family, I have no extended family since I immigrated to the U.S., and I have moved states and cities enough that I consider my social and community ties to be very underdeveloped. Social connection is important for optimal mental health, so I need to work on creating closer ties and working on friendships. I am an introvert, so I have a tendency to avoid social events since I find them draining, but although my introversion means I am unlikely to become the life and soul of the party any time soon, I love people and miss the close, quality friendships I had in my life growing up in England. I think that developing a handful of close friends rather than the many acquaintances I have where I live in Las Vegas, Nevada would enhance my life and improve my sense of connection with others. This would benefit me psychologically although it is hard to separate this from the spiritual, since sharing love with others is an integral part of spiritual health.
I also need to make changes to reduce stress in my life. This means focusing on my personal growth, and working towards a more satisfying career than corporate sales, which I dislike and find stressful. I want to be a writer, and am planning to finish a novel, which I hope to publish. I experience many feelings of frustration, resentment and wrongness in my life because my career is so much at odds with my values and interests, and I intend to take decisive steps to change this situation. I chose to work in a field I dislike, and I can choose instead to pursue the life of a professional writer. I hope making these changes will help to reduce negatives that cause me stress and increasing positives that will increase the level of joy in my life.
Addressing my physical wellness, I plan to increase dramatically my level of exercise. I have neglected my physical fitness for my studies, since I work many hours and what spare time I have had, I have spent studying.
  1. Assessment:

My psychological health is generally great, although there is room for improvement and growth. Despite growing up in a chaotic, violent and abusive environment, I feel happy and peaceful most of the time. I feel compassionate towards others and value lovingkindness greatly. I have raised a happy, well-adjusted son who is leading a productive life. I am pursuing my goals and do not have any major problems. However, as mentioned above, I could definitely benefit from more social connection and sometimes feel a little socially isolated. Thankfully, I have a truly wonderful, loving husband, and a wonderful relationship with my son and other close family members, but I do miss the deep friendships I once had. I also need to lower my stress levels, as I sometimes get nervous, irritable and cranky – not very spiritually evolved behavior!
Physically, I am not in the best shape right now. My weight has steadily crept up over the duration of my degree, as I used time I used to spend working out to study instead. I am twenty to thirty pounds overweight and want to tackle this right away. I need to regain my fitness, as I feel so much more energetic, buoyant and strong when I am physically fit. My diet is very healthy – almost all whole, unprocessed foods - and I take many supplements such as green and red concentrated “superfoods”. However, I tend to overeat when stressed – which has been often, recently, hence my steady weight gain. This, coupled with my lack of regular enough exercise has meant I have reached a point where I feel I must – and will now – take action to change.
Spiritually, I feel I have a great capacity for joy and a natural inclination towards feeling spiritually connected and uplifted. I find myself experiencing feelings of expansiveness, of oneness, of the knowledge that everything will be okay, and feelings of bliss at times. It is easy for me to reach a state of spiritual joy when meditating, and I feel I could achieve much more still in this arena. I want to continue to develop this capacity, as it brings me so much happiness and peace, and I feel I can reach even greater heights. Where I am lacking is in my spiritual walk with others. Although I volunteer at a hospice, I have not done so this year, as my studies seemed to take over my life. When I’ve spent time with terminally sick and dying people, I have felt the same feelings of peace, calm and spiritual consciousness as I feel when meditating. However, it is harder for me to experience these feelings in my work life. If life were simply meditating in a cave, I would do just fine, but it is in trying to maintain the same spiritual consciousness when dealing with others in my daily working life that I lose focus. This part of my life needs work.
  1. Goal development:

Goals I have set for myself to improve in the key areas where I need work include joining groups that will bring me into contact with likeminded others I can relate to so that I can develop more meaningful friendships, rather than the many acquaintances I have through my job. In this spirit, I just joined a yoga and meditation studio, where I hope to meet people with whom I can connect. Increasing my level of social interaction will lead to greater social connectedness, and thus improve my psychological wellbeing. I also intend to take a Reiki class, since this will help connect me to others in a spirit of lovingkindness, which will again increase my social connectedness and thus my psychological wellbeing.
I also need to work on daily mediation. I am going to try meditating twice daily, doing a specific “A.M. meditation” to start each day in the right state of mind, and end each day with another meditation. In the long term, this will help to rewire my brain to reduce my stress levels and increase my psychological wellbeing.
Physically, I am going to get some sort of exercise every day. I am going to change my approach, and make an effort to run and hike outdoors, since I find being in a natural environmental very calming and beneficial. I am about to move into a house I’ve just purchased, so walking and running outdoors daily with my dog will not only increase my physical health and fitness, but also dovetails with my psychological goal of becoming more socially connected, since if I exercise in my neighborhood, I can get to know my new neighbors and develop friendships. Getting outside will be greatly beneficial for my physical health since the fresh air and Vitamin D from the sunlight alone will be a great boon – I feel as if I have become something of a vampire since pursuing my degree, never leaving the house except to go to work.
I do not think I will continue to overeat once I reduce my stress levels. I definitely see a connection between my current overeating and an attempt to soothe myself, because I have been stressed and overburdened. However, I do intend to overhaul my eating habits to insure I am nourishing myself optimally. I intend to see a physician to discuss my weight loss goals, since I take my current weight as a health issue.
Spiritually, I want to start to put this aspect of me at the center of my life. Since this is the heart of what we are and why we are here, I want to start to live as if I believed my spiritual growth was as critically important as it is. I need to start living more purposefully, in spiritual terms. I believe the steps I am going to take to develop my psychological and physical health will set the stage for my spiritual growth. I definitely intend to start regular volunteer work with terminally sick people again, as I feel this is a true act of love and service, and I find it deeply rewarding.
My daily meditations will help me to become more receptive to the spiritual, as well as helping my psychological and physical wellbeing. Through this meditation, I hope to begin to expand my feelings of oneness, peacefulness, bliss, and nonreactiveness into all aspects of my life. I want to feel that feeling of spirituality all day, in all situations. I do not need to accept my “work self” as a compartment of me; I can extend and expand my spiritual self into my work life. As I become more at peace for more of the time, and begin to reconcile the different parts of my life into one whole, I believe I will become more spiritually complete, and will be able to serve others better.
  1. Practices for personal health:

In terms of my physical health, I want to lose twenty pounds by the fall and thirty pounds by the winter. This would put me at an ideal healthy weight. I also want to regain serious fitness, and am making a commitment to physical activity daily and strenuous exercise five times a week. Daily activity and regular strenuous exercise should accomplish this goal.
In terms of my psychological health, I aim to practice twice-daily meditation to reduce stress and irritability, and begin the process of “rewiring” my brain for optimal psychological health. I also intend to attend the yoga and meditation studio once a week and the Reiki class once a week. Together, these will make meaningful social connection with likeminded others, or others in need, a regular part of my life, increasing my sense of community and connectedness.
I believe that these other practices will set the stage for spiritual growth, creating a spiritually conducive internal and external environment. A key step in spiritual growth for me is through service to others with lovingkindness. I am therefore making a commitment to begin weekly work with a hospice for which I volunteer. I usually visit patients at home, and depending on their wishes, keep them company, chat, play card games, or clean or pick up groceries. I have always found a deep feeling of joy in this service, and I have missed it this last year since I took on a heavier course load and was no longer able to find the time to volunteer. In addition, once I have completed Reiki training, I will start to volunteer Reiki services at the hospice.
Another part of my spiritual progress (along with the previously mentioned daily meditation, which I find deeply spiritually rewarding) will be to seek out a spiritual practice group. There are a number of spiritual groups in Las Vegas I have long wanted to join, but never had the time – until now – such as an Awareness and Consciousness group, or the Ganesha Center, a “sanctuary for the spirit”. I will join in hopes of finding others who can help and guide me on my spiritual path, and perhaps even a mentor.
  1. Commitment:

Physical progress is easy to track; I will assess my weight and fitness, and expect to see weight loss of one to two pounds per week, and a continual improvement in physical strength, speed and stamina. My weight will be easy to track, since it simply involves making notes week by week. My fitness will be easy to track by doing fitness tests, but also by working out a little longer each time, lifting a little more weight each time, or running faster each time.
Psychological health is not quite as easy to track, since it can be so subjective. However, I expect to see my stress levels fall dramatically, greatly reduced irritability, increased feelings of calm, happiness, compassion and less reactivity. If my effort to forge new friendships is successful, I expect to feel generally even happier than I normally do. As an introvert, I need lots of alone time to recharge my batteries, but I recognize that it is through our relationships with others we are tested and given the opportunity for psychological (and spiritual) growth.
My spiritual progress will be hardest of all to track. There is also some overlap with my psychological progress, since spiritual growth will result in increased feelings of calm, happiness, compassion and less reactivity. However, when we are spiritually in tune with the universe, good things happen, opportunities open up (I do not mean by this necessarily all ostensibly “good” things, since opportunities may come to us through difficulty), and we experience synchronicity. I will definitely consider myself spiritually growing if I am able to find a mentor, and enter into a trusting and enriching relationship.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Meeting Aesclepius Meditation


What I’ve noticed these past few weeks is a very unevolved, not terribly spiritual, not-present urge to be done with my final term and graduate! Worse, I’ve been feeling lousy about not being able to stay in the present moment and attend to my studies mindfully. I am finding the sheer volume of work overwhelming, and the concern (due to the overwhelming workload) I may lose my 4.0 in my final term, after fighting for so long to strive for excellence, is causing me some anxiety and disappointment. Perhaps the message in this course for me is not to attach so much importance to external labels of “perfection” since it doesn’t exist anyway and it’s only another kind of competitiveness - and even a kind of materialism, and pride. I normally reject materialism as antithetical to my values, and yet what is stressing over whether I get a 4.0 (or something very close to it if I don’t get an A in this course) but caring about external symbols of success – in other words, materialism – and pride? These are not values I think I hold, and yet, here I am fretting over symbols of success. Yet perhaps this is another lesson I was not prepared to learn, but am learning anyway. My anxiety level is receding even as I am writing these words – I think I’ve had an epiphany! :-)

I knew I wanted to take this course to help me make the transition from school to living more fully, and to continue developing my inner life, since I will have time to devote to it. I am a firm believer that the continued pursuit of mindfulness and meditation will help me sustain calmness, peacefulness and happiness, whereas I now experience them as fleeting. 

The Meeting Aesclepius meditation was – to be completely honest – not a complete success. For some reason, my husband interrupted me every time I tried to do it, and although I completed the meditation (albeit in fits and starts), and got some brief moments of blissful feelings (along with very strong visualizations and sensations of the directed light), I know the constant interruptions meant I did not get the full benefit from it. I definitely intend to work on this meditation and come back to it and the others we’ve learned in this course many times. 

The question of why "One cannot lead another where one has not gone himself" (Amorok, Micozzi & Schlitz, 2005, p. 477) I think relates very well to the idea of finding a mentor who has spent years mastering spiritual practice. I know that, although I have a powerful spiritual inclination, and am able to experience blissful spiritual moments, I am still a novice and need time and practice to get to the point where I no longer react to emotional triggers, but am able to sustain calmness, peace and connectedness at all times. Finding a mentor who is constantly calm, nonreactive, full of lovingkindness and wisdom – because they have been where they are leading me to – would greatly help me get there. Likewise, if I were a health and wellness professional, I could not expect to demonstrate to others the benefits of integral practice if I did not practice it myself, because it is not about simply telling a patient what medicine to take or what exercise to perform. Integral health means sharing more than information or instruction; it is about sharing spiritual energy. Since most people in our culture have never seen someone who is integrally healthy, it would be a powerful and eloquent means of sharing its value by embodying it, mind, body and spirit.

References:
Amorok, T., Micozzi, M.S., Schlitz, M. (2005). Consciousness and healing: Integral approaches
to mind-body medicine. St. Louis, MO: Elsevier, Inc.
Dacher, E. (2006). Integral health: The path to human flourishing.
                Laguna Beach, CA: Basic Health Publications, Inc.