Monday, July 23, 2012

Final Reflections


Hi everyone, and congratulations for making it to week ten!  Tomorrow is my very last day of school and I’m luxuriating in the feeling of accomplishment and calm. 

Looking back over how I assessed my psychological, physical and spiritual wellbeing, I am struck by how difficult it is to quantify these things, and how my estimation of my relative wellness varies from day to day. Nevertheless, I would stand by rating my physical wellbeing at 7 out of 10, despite being far from peak fitness. I justify my rating based on the gratitude I feel for being able bodied, free of disease, and relatively young. I still rate myself a 7, since I have not yet had time to significantly change my fitness level, although I have been working out daily since I finished my final projects and finally contemplated having some time for myself – yippee! One positive change I have noticed right away – as my stress level has dropped, I’ve found I am no longer over eating and have barely thought about food for days. If this continues, as I believe it will, since my slight overeating (albeit of healthy food) was a response to stress, and I finally have gotten off the hamster wheel and feel so calm and happy! My fitness level should increase rapidly if I continue my present activity level. 

Since my fitness goal was to work out 4-5 times a week, although it’s early days, I have met that goal so far and had a blast doing it. I love to work out, and I didn’t feel right not working out often enough. Now I’ve slowed down, I feel my thoughts become clearer, and a state of mindfulness returning. A mindful way of being feels like my natural state now, and the agitated state of mind I experience when overloaded with stress feels like a disruption to that state.  I’ve definitely made a start in implementing the activities I chose, but I haven’t meditated in a few days, and will do so tonight and tomorrow morning. I want to try to meditate, even if only for a short while, twice a day. 

Psychologically, I rated myself a 9, and while I think I am pretty well adjusted and happy, on my crankiest days while studying 9 might have been a stretch! On reflection, I think such a high number doesn’t give me enough room to grow, and I certainly feel I have room to grow. I feel a huge outpouring of gratitude for my experience and feel calm, happy, and ready for the next phase of my life, with renewed energy, optimism and enthusiasm. I think that means I’m in good shape, mentally, although I have an Achilles’ heel when it comes to my work. I can’t claim to have completely turned around my negative feelings about my job (one of my psychological goals) since it’s far from the creative field I want to be in. But I definitely noticed a slightly heavy feeling I was aware of at work lifting off me now my studies are drawing to a close. I found it very difficult to handle the stress of my job with the stress of school. Now I am no longer tired and overcommitted, I have the energy reserves and upbeat spirit that allow me to shrug off my job with a light heart. While I am not going to fall in love with corporate sales any time soon, I can accept it with gratitude as the job I need right now, and which affords me the luxury of going to school, and now, pursuing my professional dream of being a writer. Meditation will help me continue to accept this with gratitude, instead of inwardly fighting it with resentment – which is not a healthy or productive frame of mind. I have also joined a yoga studio, and will be taking a class this weekend, to increase my social connectedness, to increase further my psychological wellbeing. Perhaps a 7 is more realistic, and, in a very positive sense, this creates more room for growth.

Spiritually, I wanted to grow throughout this course, and I feel I have. I previously rated myself a 7, because although I feel very spiritual, learning about integral human flourishing means I now have some understanding that we can go so much farther than we know, so I am not complacent but rather filled with optimism about my capacity for continued growth. My twice-daily meditation should help this growth, as will my intention to take a Reiki course and start volunteering at hospice again. Although I have not yet fully implemented these steps, I feel I’ve grown over the duration of this course, partly through gaining a better understanding of the importance of intentionality. I feel I have a better understanding of the need for developing disciplined practices, and taking action to support my intention. 

I’m not expecting dramatic change overnight, although my physical fitness level is the goal that will be quickest and easiest to achieve. My psychological journey is to rise above feeling stressed out by external events and learn to cultivate a calm abiding state of consciousness, as recommended by Dacher (2006). My spiritual journey will be a lifelong one; I don’t expect to become enlightened without years of practice (if ever) but I do expect to be happy, grateful, peaceful and loving. I feel I’ve begun some positive steps towards all three as a result of this course. 

I wish everyone I’ve encountered on this course much happiness!

Deb

Reference:
Dacher, E. (2006). Integral health: The path to human flourishing.
                Laguna Beach, CA: Basic Health Publications, Inc.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Action Plan or Guide to Being


HW420-01 Unit 9 Project
  1. Introduction:

It is important for health and wellness professionals to develop psychologically, spiritually and physically because a healer cannot heal others or guide them to optimal wellness if he or she does not understand and practice an integrally healthy life. Since integral health means so much more than an absence of sickness, but instead implies a deep, optimal wellness of the whole person, mind, body and spirit, a health and wellness professional cannot hope to lead others to this state without leading by example.
As someone who took this class for personal growth rather than any professional purpose, I believe anyone who wishes to help others achieve optimal personal growth and health must first begin by achieving it him or herself.
In order to achieve the goals I have for myself, I need to develop in several areas. First, addressing the mind part of mind-body-spirit, I need to work on strengthening my social ties. Although I have a small close family, I have no extended family since I immigrated to the U.S., and I have moved states and cities enough that I consider my social and community ties to be very underdeveloped. Social connection is important for optimal mental health, so I need to work on creating closer ties and working on friendships. I am an introvert, so I have a tendency to avoid social events since I find them draining, but although my introversion means I am unlikely to become the life and soul of the party any time soon, I love people and miss the close, quality friendships I had in my life growing up in England. I think that developing a handful of close friends rather than the many acquaintances I have where I live in Las Vegas, Nevada would enhance my life and improve my sense of connection with others. This would benefit me psychologically although it is hard to separate this from the spiritual, since sharing love with others is an integral part of spiritual health.
I also need to make changes to reduce stress in my life. This means focusing on my personal growth, and working towards a more satisfying career than corporate sales, which I dislike and find stressful. I want to be a writer, and am planning to finish a novel, which I hope to publish. I experience many feelings of frustration, resentment and wrongness in my life because my career is so much at odds with my values and interests, and I intend to take decisive steps to change this situation. I chose to work in a field I dislike, and I can choose instead to pursue the life of a professional writer. I hope making these changes will help to reduce negatives that cause me stress and increasing positives that will increase the level of joy in my life.
Addressing my physical wellness, I plan to increase dramatically my level of exercise. I have neglected my physical fitness for my studies, since I work many hours and what spare time I have had, I have spent studying.
  1. Assessment:

My psychological health is generally great, although there is room for improvement and growth. Despite growing up in a chaotic, violent and abusive environment, I feel happy and peaceful most of the time. I feel compassionate towards others and value lovingkindness greatly. I have raised a happy, well-adjusted son who is leading a productive life. I am pursuing my goals and do not have any major problems. However, as mentioned above, I could definitely benefit from more social connection and sometimes feel a little socially isolated. Thankfully, I have a truly wonderful, loving husband, and a wonderful relationship with my son and other close family members, but I do miss the deep friendships I once had. I also need to lower my stress levels, as I sometimes get nervous, irritable and cranky – not very spiritually evolved behavior!
Physically, I am not in the best shape right now. My weight has steadily crept up over the duration of my degree, as I used time I used to spend working out to study instead. I am twenty to thirty pounds overweight and want to tackle this right away. I need to regain my fitness, as I feel so much more energetic, buoyant and strong when I am physically fit. My diet is very healthy – almost all whole, unprocessed foods - and I take many supplements such as green and red concentrated “superfoods”. However, I tend to overeat when stressed – which has been often, recently, hence my steady weight gain. This, coupled with my lack of regular enough exercise has meant I have reached a point where I feel I must – and will now – take action to change.
Spiritually, I feel I have a great capacity for joy and a natural inclination towards feeling spiritually connected and uplifted. I find myself experiencing feelings of expansiveness, of oneness, of the knowledge that everything will be okay, and feelings of bliss at times. It is easy for me to reach a state of spiritual joy when meditating, and I feel I could achieve much more still in this arena. I want to continue to develop this capacity, as it brings me so much happiness and peace, and I feel I can reach even greater heights. Where I am lacking is in my spiritual walk with others. Although I volunteer at a hospice, I have not done so this year, as my studies seemed to take over my life. When I’ve spent time with terminally sick and dying people, I have felt the same feelings of peace, calm and spiritual consciousness as I feel when meditating. However, it is harder for me to experience these feelings in my work life. If life were simply meditating in a cave, I would do just fine, but it is in trying to maintain the same spiritual consciousness when dealing with others in my daily working life that I lose focus. This part of my life needs work.
  1. Goal development:

Goals I have set for myself to improve in the key areas where I need work include joining groups that will bring me into contact with likeminded others I can relate to so that I can develop more meaningful friendships, rather than the many acquaintances I have through my job. In this spirit, I just joined a yoga and meditation studio, where I hope to meet people with whom I can connect. Increasing my level of social interaction will lead to greater social connectedness, and thus improve my psychological wellbeing. I also intend to take a Reiki class, since this will help connect me to others in a spirit of lovingkindness, which will again increase my social connectedness and thus my psychological wellbeing.
I also need to work on daily mediation. I am going to try meditating twice daily, doing a specific “A.M. meditation” to start each day in the right state of mind, and end each day with another meditation. In the long term, this will help to rewire my brain to reduce my stress levels and increase my psychological wellbeing.
Physically, I am going to get some sort of exercise every day. I am going to change my approach, and make an effort to run and hike outdoors, since I find being in a natural environmental very calming and beneficial. I am about to move into a house I’ve just purchased, so walking and running outdoors daily with my dog will not only increase my physical health and fitness, but also dovetails with my psychological goal of becoming more socially connected, since if I exercise in my neighborhood, I can get to know my new neighbors and develop friendships. Getting outside will be greatly beneficial for my physical health since the fresh air and Vitamin D from the sunlight alone will be a great boon – I feel as if I have become something of a vampire since pursuing my degree, never leaving the house except to go to work.
I do not think I will continue to overeat once I reduce my stress levels. I definitely see a connection between my current overeating and an attempt to soothe myself, because I have been stressed and overburdened. However, I do intend to overhaul my eating habits to insure I am nourishing myself optimally. I intend to see a physician to discuss my weight loss goals, since I take my current weight as a health issue.
Spiritually, I want to start to put this aspect of me at the center of my life. Since this is the heart of what we are and why we are here, I want to start to live as if I believed my spiritual growth was as critically important as it is. I need to start living more purposefully, in spiritual terms. I believe the steps I am going to take to develop my psychological and physical health will set the stage for my spiritual growth. I definitely intend to start regular volunteer work with terminally sick people again, as I feel this is a true act of love and service, and I find it deeply rewarding.
My daily meditations will help me to become more receptive to the spiritual, as well as helping my psychological and physical wellbeing. Through this meditation, I hope to begin to expand my feelings of oneness, peacefulness, bliss, and nonreactiveness into all aspects of my life. I want to feel that feeling of spirituality all day, in all situations. I do not need to accept my “work self” as a compartment of me; I can extend and expand my spiritual self into my work life. As I become more at peace for more of the time, and begin to reconcile the different parts of my life into one whole, I believe I will become more spiritually complete, and will be able to serve others better.
  1. Practices for personal health:

In terms of my physical health, I want to lose twenty pounds by the fall and thirty pounds by the winter. This would put me at an ideal healthy weight. I also want to regain serious fitness, and am making a commitment to physical activity daily and strenuous exercise five times a week. Daily activity and regular strenuous exercise should accomplish this goal.
In terms of my psychological health, I aim to practice twice-daily meditation to reduce stress and irritability, and begin the process of “rewiring” my brain for optimal psychological health. I also intend to attend the yoga and meditation studio once a week and the Reiki class once a week. Together, these will make meaningful social connection with likeminded others, or others in need, a regular part of my life, increasing my sense of community and connectedness.
I believe that these other practices will set the stage for spiritual growth, creating a spiritually conducive internal and external environment. A key step in spiritual growth for me is through service to others with lovingkindness. I am therefore making a commitment to begin weekly work with a hospice for which I volunteer. I usually visit patients at home, and depending on their wishes, keep them company, chat, play card games, or clean or pick up groceries. I have always found a deep feeling of joy in this service, and I have missed it this last year since I took on a heavier course load and was no longer able to find the time to volunteer. In addition, once I have completed Reiki training, I will start to volunteer Reiki services at the hospice.
Another part of my spiritual progress (along with the previously mentioned daily meditation, which I find deeply spiritually rewarding) will be to seek out a spiritual practice group. There are a number of spiritual groups in Las Vegas I have long wanted to join, but never had the time – until now – such as an Awareness and Consciousness group, or the Ganesha Center, a “sanctuary for the spirit”. I will join in hopes of finding others who can help and guide me on my spiritual path, and perhaps even a mentor.
  1. Commitment:

Physical progress is easy to track; I will assess my weight and fitness, and expect to see weight loss of one to two pounds per week, and a continual improvement in physical strength, speed and stamina. My weight will be easy to track, since it simply involves making notes week by week. My fitness will be easy to track by doing fitness tests, but also by working out a little longer each time, lifting a little more weight each time, or running faster each time.
Psychological health is not quite as easy to track, since it can be so subjective. However, I expect to see my stress levels fall dramatically, greatly reduced irritability, increased feelings of calm, happiness, compassion and less reactivity. If my effort to forge new friendships is successful, I expect to feel generally even happier than I normally do. As an introvert, I need lots of alone time to recharge my batteries, but I recognize that it is through our relationships with others we are tested and given the opportunity for psychological (and spiritual) growth.
My spiritual progress will be hardest of all to track. There is also some overlap with my psychological progress, since spiritual growth will result in increased feelings of calm, happiness, compassion and less reactivity. However, when we are spiritually in tune with the universe, good things happen, opportunities open up (I do not mean by this necessarily all ostensibly “good” things, since opportunities may come to us through difficulty), and we experience synchronicity. I will definitely consider myself spiritually growing if I am able to find a mentor, and enter into a trusting and enriching relationship.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Meeting Aesclepius Meditation


What I’ve noticed these past few weeks is a very unevolved, not terribly spiritual, not-present urge to be done with my final term and graduate! Worse, I’ve been feeling lousy about not being able to stay in the present moment and attend to my studies mindfully. I am finding the sheer volume of work overwhelming, and the concern (due to the overwhelming workload) I may lose my 4.0 in my final term, after fighting for so long to strive for excellence, is causing me some anxiety and disappointment. Perhaps the message in this course for me is not to attach so much importance to external labels of “perfection” since it doesn’t exist anyway and it’s only another kind of competitiveness - and even a kind of materialism, and pride. I normally reject materialism as antithetical to my values, and yet what is stressing over whether I get a 4.0 (or something very close to it if I don’t get an A in this course) but caring about external symbols of success – in other words, materialism – and pride? These are not values I think I hold, and yet, here I am fretting over symbols of success. Yet perhaps this is another lesson I was not prepared to learn, but am learning anyway. My anxiety level is receding even as I am writing these words – I think I’ve had an epiphany! :-)

I knew I wanted to take this course to help me make the transition from school to living more fully, and to continue developing my inner life, since I will have time to devote to it. I am a firm believer that the continued pursuit of mindfulness and meditation will help me sustain calmness, peacefulness and happiness, whereas I now experience them as fleeting. 

The Meeting Aesclepius meditation was – to be completely honest – not a complete success. For some reason, my husband interrupted me every time I tried to do it, and although I completed the meditation (albeit in fits and starts), and got some brief moments of blissful feelings (along with very strong visualizations and sensations of the directed light), I know the constant interruptions meant I did not get the full benefit from it. I definitely intend to work on this meditation and come back to it and the others we’ve learned in this course many times. 

The question of why "One cannot lead another where one has not gone himself" (Amorok, Micozzi & Schlitz, 2005, p. 477) I think relates very well to the idea of finding a mentor who has spent years mastering spiritual practice. I know that, although I have a powerful spiritual inclination, and am able to experience blissful spiritual moments, I am still a novice and need time and practice to get to the point where I no longer react to emotional triggers, but am able to sustain calmness, peace and connectedness at all times. Finding a mentor who is constantly calm, nonreactive, full of lovingkindness and wisdom – because they have been where they are leading me to – would greatly help me get there. Likewise, if I were a health and wellness professional, I could not expect to demonstrate to others the benefits of integral practice if I did not practice it myself, because it is not about simply telling a patient what medicine to take or what exercise to perform. Integral health means sharing more than information or instruction; it is about sharing spiritual energy. Since most people in our culture have never seen someone who is integrally healthy, it would be a powerful and eloquent means of sharing its value by embodying it, mind, body and spirit.

References:
Amorok, T., Micozzi, M.S., Schlitz, M. (2005). Consciousness and healing: Integral approaches
to mind-body medicine. St. Louis, MO: Elsevier, Inc.
Dacher, E. (2006). Integral health: The path to human flourishing.
                Laguna Beach, CA: Basic Health Publications, Inc.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Universal Loving Kindness/Integral Wellness Assessment

The universal loving kindness exercise felt like a wonderfully calming liberation from selectivity since it emphasizes universal love. When cultivating this feeling of universal of love, it liberates us from determining whom we can trust, or allow to become close to us. All are deserving of love, even those who might be considered evil. The entirety of creation, when seen as a whole, is like a rainbow, with each individual a color.

In doing the integral assessment, I identified a number of areas I can develop in order to continue to pursue my goal of flourishing, but one in particular stands out.

My main source of difficulty and suffering, causing me a lot of stress, anxiety and unhappiness, is that my career - in corporate sales - is very much at odds with my values. Daily, I feel I have sacrificed my integrity for money, and I have to make decisions based on competition rather than cooperation, and making money rather than giving. It's an odd thing because I never cared about the pursuit of money, but I "somehow" found myself in this career. This in itself warrants examination, because there is no such thing as "happening to find oneself" in a given situation. We must take responsibility for our choices and understand the role they have played.

Thinking deeply about the issue, I can see that, although my values have always been about the pursuit of truth, beauty and goodness - my greatest dream is to write books that bring joy, inspiration, and a feeling of wonder to others - I made my career choices not intentionally, and not based on this positive desire, but rather in reaction to a negative. When I was a small child, my parents divorced after a violent and toxic marriage. My father told my mother if she went through with the divorce he would "see her in the gutter", and his words proved prophetic. We became homeless, were eventually housed in the projects (in England) and lived in extreme poverty growing up.

Although my conscious values were not about the pursuit of money, I can see now that the shame and degradation I felt about being homeless as a child unconsciously made me feel excessively unhappy if I did not have "enough" money. I did not pursue the career I wanted as a writer, therefore, because I was afraid I would not be able to support myself and my son. This was showing a lack of faith that following the right choice would result in the universe opening up possibilities to allow me to take care of my son.

I can now see that, having acknowledged this truth, I must trust that when I follow my heart and passion to pursue a writing career, I will find a way to make it work. I must also understand that I am no longer the powerless child I once was, and making a choice to sacrifice money to do what is right for me will not result in the "calamity" I once experienced.

Making a choice to let go of a career that does not nourish me, and in contrast, makes me feel like a fraud (since the job conflicts with my personal values), to embrace instead the creative career I have always wanted makes me feel a bubbling sense of anticipation, and the excitement of impending liberation. I can see that, if I had the space in my life created by the calmness, happiness, and sense of ease I would experience if my work was in accordance with values, I would have so much more to give to others.

This was really an epiphany for me and I'm so excited and validated to continue my journey towards a more fulfilling career, as I make the transition to the next phase of my life and finish my final term of school. 


Monday, June 18, 2012

Subtle Mind Exercise and the Spiritual-Mental-Physical Wellness Connection

Hi everyone,
This week I really needed this meditation! I got some bad news that's been preoccupying me, so I am trying to see this challenge as an opportunity to see how really embracing these practices can help me overcome my worries (negative mental chatter). I really want to reach a point at which external events cannot disturb my inner calm, but it's a challenge.

Most likely because I was not in the best state of mind, and was agitated and preoccupied, I found it harder to focus and get the full benefit of the Subtle Mind meditation. My focus kept coming back to my problems and my agitated state of mind. When I did come back to focus on the Subtle Mind exercise, I found myself getting overwhelmingly sleepy. It was a kind of relaxation preferable to the agitation, but it wasn’t a complete state of peace, and I wondered if the sleepiness was a kind of avoidance. I have not been able to reassert my calm state of mind, and I am tired and irritable. I need to work on regaining my sense of peace and developing these practices, clearly!

Spiritual wellness is the starting point for mental and physical wellness. The spiritual is the deepest part of the self, and if it is not right, the other parts will not be right either. I used to experience constant back pain and muscle tension years ago, but I was just thinking recently that I haven’t experienced it for years. I think it’s because I used to carry a lot of anxiety because I had no spiritual side, and had neglected this part of myself completely. I can see now that, because my spiritual self was not developed, it affected my emotions, which manifested in physical pain. Fortunately, I can see I’ve come a long way, even if I still occasionally have an off day! :-)

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Loving-kindness Meditation

Hi everyone,
Reflecting on the loving-kindness meditation, I found it to be an extraordinary, even cosmic, experience. I felt as I were a temporary portal that could both take in all the suffering in the world and transform it into healing. I don't mean that I felt as I was personally responsible for this. Rather, the cosmic, underlying, unifying consciousness reached out through me as I aligned myself with it and experienced myself as a spiritual being with my body as a material focal point, allowing the passage of the cosmic consciousness. If you are not into this stuff, this all probably sounds completely ridiculous and like I just turned into a trippy hippy. I used to think the same way, and I would have scorned all of this as delusional nonsense.

What is undoubtedly true is that I emerged from the meditation feeling a deep peace, and a physical and mental calm. I have been stressing about my job (my psychospiritual Achilles heel) and dreading going back to work tomorrow - and now those feelings have evaporated. I feel calm, peaceful and lighthearted, and can smile about my agitation and worry about my work. I feel connected to others, forgiving and accepting, as I feel towards myself.

It was an amazing and beautiful experience, and I would recommend it to anyone!

Just as we know repeated thoughts forge new neural pathways, effectively "rewiring" the brain, mental workouts can exercise the brain like a muscle to create healthier psychological states. I feel renewed by the loving-kindness meditation, and I bet if my brain were examined and imaged right now, it would be measurably different from before. The concept of the mental workout is to gradually effect healthier "default states" of the brain, so that we increase positive feelings and decrease negative ones. I would like to get to a point where I am not fazed by external events, and still retain my inner peace no matter what happens. I believe we can help ourselves grow towards higher stages of psychospiritual development by exercising our brains through mental workouts such as meditations. I intend to increase my practice of meditation and other such practices, to increase my psychospiritual flourishing. Whereas meditation is something I have done "when I have time", I intend, particularly as I transition out of school, to seek more fulfilling work, and enter the next phase in my life, to incorporate meditation into my life daily. I believe I will experience real and measurable benefits in my life as a result.

Have a great week, everyone!

Deb :-)

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Reflections
  1. Based on your reflections, and on a scale of 1 to 10 (ten being optimal wellbeing), where do you rate your A-physical wellbeing, B-spiritual well-being, C-psychological well-being? Why?
Based on my reflections, on a scale of 1 to 10, I would rate my physical wellbeing a 7. I am very fortunate in that I am free of major illness, able bodied, free of injury, and everything “works” reasonably well. However, I believe I am still far from being at my optimal level of physical health, firstly because I am about twenty pounds overweight, and not at peak fitness. Although I work out, it is rarely 4-5 times a week, and usually more like 1-3 times a week. This is inadequate, and means that I am not properly ridding myself of physical tension, nor am I at peak levels of muscle mass and tone or suppleness. Consequently, although I am reasonably energetic, I could be more energetic. I take excellent care of myself in terms of diet and eat very well – just perhaps a little too much! People often comment that my skin glows and I look much younger than my age of 42, and I put this down to my lifelong good eating habits and (before I started my degree) lifelong exercise habits. I just know I could be a little fitter and thinner, and my health would be even better.
Regarding my spiritual wellbeing, I consider myself extremely fortunate in that I feel deep feelings of peace, calm and connection, most of the time when I am not at work, and particularly when I am alone. I find my job very stressful, however, and know that I need to work on a) accepting the reality of the job I am doing now so that I don’t create needless unhappiness by continually “resisting what is” and b) finding a more suitable career. I can work on the former right now, and I intend to work on the latter once I finish my degree in July. I am happy and filled with a joyful anticipation at that prospect. I would rate my present level of spiritual wellbeing at a 7, not because I think I don’t think I am spiritually fulfilled, but because I think to rate myself much higher would limit how far I think I can still go.
Regarding my psychological wellbeing, having been raised in troubled and conflict-ridden circumstances, which led to experiencing a lot of psychological distress and severe depression in my youth, I count myself extremely fortunate that I now experience feeling calm, happy and centered most of the time. Even when not, my worst psychological issues are simply feeling irritable or frustrated, rather than depressed. My mother, father, stepmother and sister all died between 2005 and 2008, and I did become depressed again for a while as I recovered from the bereavements. But instead of lapsing back into old, negative ways of thinking, these experiences actually acted as a catalyst, propelling me into seeking a spiritual life. The bereavements, after a period of mourning, actually ended up making me more whole, and happier than I’ve ever been, because I was forced to find new and more positive ways of living. I would now rate my psychological health as a 9.  

  1. Develop a goal for yourself in each area (physical, spiritual, psychological).
My physical goals are to increase my fitness level by exercising 4-5 times a week by the time I finish my studies in July and losing the twenty pounds over the course of this year (since I have found that weight loss over a shorter period inevitably comes back, whereas gradual weight loss “sticks” better.
My spiritual goal is to increase my practice of yoga and meditation and to become more spiritually aware continuously. Presently, although I experience spiritual feelings every day, these feelings wane when I am “in the world” and lose my attention.  Once I finish school in July I am planning to take a Reiki course, and to increase the amount of volunteer work I do with hospice patients, since I find that, in service, I find myself feeling more spiritually fulfilled.
My psychological goal (which is closely related to the spiritual) is to work on decreasing feelings of irritation and frustration in my work, since they show pointless resistance. I don’t mean I should give up wanting to find work that I love, but rather, I should focus on the work I am doing while I am still doing it, and be completely present in what I am doing. I would also like to work on increasing my social connectedness, since I am an introvert and have a tendency to avoid socializing as I find it stressful rather than enjoyable.

3.      What activities or exercise can you implement in your life to assist in moving toward each goal?
Since my goal in taking this course was to prepare myself for the next phase of my life once I finish school in July by becoming more aware and taking action to achieve my goals, I already feel I am taking steps, just by paying attention. Second, in paying attention, and becoming more mindful, I have found I am already exercising more, eating more mindfully, and considering carefully what I want to do once I finish school. I have done some research and found a great Reiki course I want to take this summer. I have already lost a few pounds as I am exercising a little more and eating a little less. And I am becoming more aware of my spiritual/psychological ups and downs as I find myself paying attention when I become cranky or unreasonable, observing my thoughts as they resist whatever I am experiencing, making me unhappy. At times like these, I am sometimes able to “melt” my resistance and just allow what is to be. This makes me feel better right away. Other times, my ego is asserting itself so strongly that I fail to reassert my calm, conscious awareness. I want to work on recognizing when this happens every time, and work on letting go of resistance and acknowledging what is happening with calm, conscious awareness.
  1. Complete the relaxation exercise The Crime of the Century. To hear this exercise, click here. Describe your experience. (What it beneficial? Frustrating? etc.)
I loved this chakra meditation, and found myself feeling completely calm, alert, and full of joy. I felt strongly, at the end, that I was bathed in white, healing light. It was wonderful and my only confusion is why it is the exercise so named? The name appears to bear no relation to the exercise.